Month: March 2017

It’s Time for Rich Flat Earthers Like Shaq to Prove the Earth Isn’t a Globe

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The Big Blue Marble, as seen from space in 1972

Flat Earthers. This is somehow a thing. Today. It’s a fucking thing. There are people who fucking think the goddamned fucking Earth is fucking flat. In 2017. And while this exemplary expression of Idiocracy no doubt wallows broadly in the intellectual wasteland of climate change denial, creationism, and other anti-science, anti-elite ignorance, it has some relatively high profile adherents. Specifically, Cleveland Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving and retired NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal. Adherents can also claim Tila Tequila and B.o.B. Flat Earth Mr. Irving infamously said a few years ago, “This is not even a conspiracy theory…The Earth is flat. The Earth Continue Reading →

And Then I Fell Into a Cauldron of Sealing Wax

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Wax Seal Test Stamps

When I was a kid, my Big Sis™ had a sealing wax kit. It was this Hallmark affair with one color of wax—red—one handle, and 40 or so stamps. It had one for each letter, one each for the Zodiac symbols, and maybe numbers, too. I don’t remember for sure. I coveted it. In fact—and don’t tell my sister—I plotted how to convert it from “her sealing wax kit” to “my sealing wax kit.” The joke was on me, however, because I’m fairly certain it was sacrificed in one of mom’s periodic purges-of-everyone-else’s-stuff. I went looking for an example for Continue Reading →